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Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Mountain biking

Pine trees surround me. I can hear the sound of talking kids. The smell of damp leaves engulfs me.
As I hop on my bike, tingling with fear, the thought of falling off spooks me. I clutch onto the handlebars, hoping not to fall off. Am I going to be ok? I haven't ridden a bike for so long.

Butterflies fly around my stomach as we head into the forest on the stony bike track. We cycle for a long time until I approach the dreaded hill. The instructor warned us about this.
 My eyes glue to a tree in the distance. Goose bumps form all over my body. My head  spins with the bad things that could happen, like falling face first or biking into the tree. Down I go. 

I feel petrified as I speed down the hill.  A warm proud feeling flows through my body as I reach the bottom of the slope. I continued down the track, this time with more confidence.

In this piece of  writing I was focusing on my punctuation because I needed to work that since I  don't really think about it. 
I was also trying to show my emotion. I think I did this well because  when I read this to my friend Mana she could tell that I was feeling nervous.
I think I went well because I would not think about the punctuation but I did and used lots more bright sparks words and did all of my writing in the present tense.
My next steps are to think more about punctuation and using it in the right places.

1 comment:

  1. What a fabulous piece of writing you have created Madison. I love how you have activated your nouns with sentences like "pine trees surround me" and "the smell of damp leaves engulfs me". You have also used lots great vocabulary that I haven't seen you use before - just awesome! Reading it makes me wish I was back in that forest cycling with everyone again... Perhaps I'll do a weekend trip up there soon :-)